Non-Verbal Signals at Work: How They’re Often Misread and How to Challenge Assumptions

We communicate all day long. When we are in shops, in meetings or when we have a conversation at the coffee machine. And yet, a big part of what we ‘say’ is not communicated by words at all. It’s not in what we say, but what we show.

Non-verbal communication plays a crucial role in how we understand one another at work. At the same time, it’s also the source of many misunderstandings. We see something and quickly attach meaning to it. That’s very normal. Our brain wants to make sense of things, so it simplifies what’s happening and gently fills in the gaps with explanations. However, we often draw conclusions without checking whether the meaning of our interpretation is correct.

Instead of interpreting immediately, ask yourself: ‘What else could this mean?’

It helps to obtain some proper knowledge about nonverbal communication and not fall for the myths that are out there.

Here are four non-verbal signals at work that are frequently misread and what to pay attention to instead:

1. Folded arms do not mean resistance

This is one of the most common assumptions. Someone crosses their arms in a meeting and is immediately labelled as defensive, closed or unwilling.

However, folded arms can mean many things: being cold, tired or simply finding a comfortable position. In my field, we sometimes refer to this as a ‘self-hug’: a form of self-soothing or self-comfort. This movement can come from discomfort, but it can just as easily reflect comfort or a way of creating and maintaining comfort for oneself.

In these situations, context matters. It’s important to look at the whole body and the setting of the situation. Observe the room and the person: What is someone’s facial expression, what is their tone of voice, their timing and the situation you’re in. Are you observing the big picture or just the arms?

2. Little eye contact does not equal disinterest

I’ve heard many negative connotations regarding eye contact, but mostly it’s the one where people believe that avoiding eye contact means a lack of engagement or confidence. Or people interpreted looking away as a signal of lying. This is incorrect. Research shows that there is no single nonverbal sign that reliably indicates lying. This is important to realize, because when we draw conclusions that aren’t supported by science, we may wrongly suspect others of disinterest or dishonesty, and that can be deeply damaging to relationships.

There are often other explanations that make more sense. For example, in some cultural contexts, it’s seen as impolite to look someone in the eye. Additionally, not everyone processes information in the same way. Some people feel more comfortable when they look away, others may be concentrating intensely or feeling slightly overwhelmed. Again, the key is not to isolate one signal.

3. Silence is not a negative signal

When someone goes quiet in a conversation, we tend to fill in the blanks ourselves: ‘They disagree. They’re uncomfortable. They’ve checked out.’

Silence, however, can signal reflection or careful consideration. Sometimes it simply means that someone needs more time. It can be a moment where thoughts are still forming and where emotions need to settle. Rather than assuming that someone has checked out, you can make space for the silence or gently check in: ‘What’s going through your mind right now?’

4. Movements do not signal insecurity

Fidgeting, shifting posture or touching the face is often seen as insecurity or dishonesty. What we call ‘nervous energy’ doesn’t necessarily say something about confidence. It can just as easily reflect involvement, excitement or tension created by the situation itself.

So before interpreting behavior, pause and observe. Ask not what this gesture supposedly means, but whether this environment and your approach allow the person to be at ease. Without considering comfort, we risk mistaking situational tension for personal traits. Before judging behaviour, ask: Is this person comfortable in this setting? Comfort strongly influences how people express themselves non-verbally.

Non-verbal cues aren’t fixed or universal

Perhaps the biggest misconception is believing that single non-verbal cues should be seen as easy to decode and rigid. They are not.

We like to believe that body language offers something close to objective truth: ‘If I see X, then it must mean Z’. It feels reassuring, it feels clear, efficient and controllable. But non-verbal behaviour does not exist in isolation. Culture, context and even the moment of the day all influence behaviour.

It is shaped by upbringing, personality, neurobiology, context, power dynamics and sometimes by factors such as poor sleep or health issues. A gesture is never just a gesture; it is a response to a situation.

What one observer interprets as withdrawal may be experienced by another as focus, respect or emotional self-regulation. What someone interprets as tension may, for someone else, be a sign of focus or self-control.

The risk lies in overconfidence and rigid thinking: believing we are ‘reading’ others accurately without checking our assumptions. When we treat non-verbal cues as fixed signals rather than flexible expressions, we stop being curious and start projecting.

Understanding behavior, then, is less about decoding a hidden language and more about staying open, contextual and aware of the many variables that quietly shape how people show up in the world.

Building better communication through self-awareness

Effective communication starts with becoming aware of your own behavior.

What do you signal when you’re under pressure? How congruent are your words, voice and posture? And how much space do you leave for interpretation rather than assumption?

When you understand your own patterns, especially under stress, you become less reactive and more observant. You start listening not to confirm assumptions, but to understand context and start observing with curiosity rather than judgment. That approach is often where better conversations begin.

Non-verbal communication is not something you add to a message; it is the message that’s already there. Others respond to it long before they process what you say. The question is not whether you are signalling something, but whether you are aware of what that signal is.

The more aware you are of your own non-verbal communication, the easier it becomes to observe others with curiosity instead of judgment.

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